Sunday night I decided that I was not going to let myself wallow around my house. I remembered back to last winter when I had a hot yoga membership and the Karma class came to mind – a $5 one hour class every Sunday. I made the choice to attend this week’s karma class.
The local yoga studio that I attended last winter is a remarkable place. I was introduced in August of 2012 and began attending full-time in November when the stress of term papers and exams was getting the best of me. I continued until April of this year, when unfortunately the membership price rose and it no longer was feasible with my student budget. The time I spent on my mat in the studio’s 100 degree room was truly a time of personal growth. It enabled me to push past some of the boundaries I had earlier placed on myself while at the same time allowed me to relax and accept myself for who I was. I knew this Sunday that being back on my mat was an activity that would allow me to spend a healthy hour out of the house around other people and help me relax. What I didn’t realize was that it would completely invade my healing process and bring out the raw emotions I was harbouring inside.
That hour was one of the most intense hours I’ve emotionally experienced. As the sweat began to pour from my face, so did the tears. Throughout the entire class, a constant flow of tears leaked from the corner of my eyes. As the teacher constantly reminded the class to focus on our ujjayi breath instead of our thoughts, I slowly began to focus on the practice. Even though the hurt in my heart still remained, for that hour I was able to do something productive for myself. With every move that I was able to bend a little deeper in or hold for an extra breath, a sense of empowerment came. Somewhere between the time I got on my mat to the time I was changing out of my sweat soaked clothes, I realized that my life was in my hands and my hands alone. I was granted the opportunity in my life to take control. Was I going to let it slip or could I rise to the challenge?
When leaving the yoga studio, emotions were pouring out of me. As I climbed back into my vehicle, sobs choked in my throat. And then, just as quickly as it overcame me, it ended.
I was my own person. I chose my own desires. I had the ability to control my life. And I started to believe this.
I am so thankful for the yoga studio that welcomed me back to their class with warming smiles. That looked past my tear-stained face and accepted me. That allowed me the opportunity to grow. This past weekend has been unfathomably tough but I’m starting to realize the potential it has for personal growth. Participating in various forms of physical activity, both running and yoga, has helped me realize the strength I have within. I has allowed me to expel the damaging energy I’ve been carrying around inside my heart and filled the vacant spaces with breaths of fresh air. It’s an unbelievable opportunity that we all posses; do you take advantage?